Writing Romantic Scenes?
Set the Tone and Shift the Focus

When writing romantic scenes,
there are a few things that must be addressed.

I belong to a certain mainstream writers' website where writers go to discuss their current projects. A young man posted that he had a love scene fast approaching in his Sci-Fi manuscript and wasn’t sure how to write it. He asked the forum: Is it necessary for romantic scenes to be erotic?

This being a secular site, you can imagine the responses. So far as I could tell, I was the only one who answered an unequivocal, No. I explained that all he needed to do was to shift the focus.

The rules for portraying sex–and violence, for that matter–vary among the different Christian publishers, but on one thing they all agree: Nothing is to be explicit. If you think that’s unnecessarily confining, then you’re not stretching your writing abilities, not exercising what you’ve learned about tone and portraying emotion.

Once you shift the focus away from the physical act–a simple matter of not writing things that shouldn’t be written anyway–set the tone through your word choice. A writer’s words are her arsenal, be bold with them in anything you write.

In the following four examples, the event and Kendra’s emotions are evident in the tone and word choice in these romantic scenes.

Example One:
• Kendra couldn’t tear her eyes away from his soft lips, drawing nearer, half opened. Her knees wobbled like gummy worms, and one more beat of her pounding heart would overpower them, and she just knew she would collapse into a wad of jelly right there on the front porch. But her curiosity thirsted for this experience. There was no turning back now. She tilted her head and scrunched her eyes shut. And collided with his nose.
Example Two:
• Kendra couldn’t tear her eyes away from his soft lips, drawing nearer, slightly parted. Desire’s familiar heat sizzled through her body, overwhelming the still, small voice in the back of her mind. She wanted this, craved it, ached to feel what had so long been denied her. She closed her eyes, as if shutting out the whisper of conscience, and melted into his kiss.
Example Three:
• Kendra couldn’t tear her eyes away from his soft lips, drawing nearer, slightly parted. How blessed she was to still hunger for his kisses, still long for his touch. She closed her eyes and slid into the thrilling comfort of his arms, accepting love’s offer. He raised his head, cocked a brow in question. She smiled her response, turned, and led him through the house to the bedroom they’d shared for a quarter of a century.
Example Four:
• Kendra couldn’t tear her eyes away from him as he drew nearer, his lips curled in a snarl. There was no mistaking what he wanted; his intent burned in his eyes. Her heart hammered its urgency. Her brain screamed, Run! to feet that were bolted in terror to the sidewalk. She slammed her eyes shut. Please, God, No!

In all but the “first kiss” example, the romantic scenes should fade to black like in a ‘50s movie. The reader gets the point and can fill in the blanks on her own. Notice that in none of the examples did I describe the physical activity–where the hands were and what they were doing, the mechanics involved in kissing. According to some Christian publishers, the details are simply not allowed. In truth, they’re simply not necessary.

Suggested Reading:

Writing the Christian Romance, Gail Gaymer Martin. This is the absolute go-to book for writing romance stories to Christians. Gail’s book covers from characters, dialogue and plotting to marketing a Christian novel. A chapter on sexuality is followed by another one on spirituality. Books well written according to her guidelines would be acceptable to Christian publishers, and particularly the CBA.

Redeeming Love, Francine Rivers

See the principles of shifting focus and setting the tone put into action. In this novel, intended for mature Christians, Francine explores the life of a prostitute and portrays a variety of sexual sins without once becoming explicit. The theme of the book is God’s redeeming love, and Francine boldly illustrates just what her main character was redeemed from. It’s well worth the read for entertainment purposes, but it serves double duty as a study of how this touchy subject should be approached.

If you have further questions on writing romantic scenes, please feel free to contact us





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Linda Yezak lives in Texas, where exaggeration is an art form and ego is hereditary. She, her husband, and three cats have a home in the deep East Texas forest among trees so tall the stars rest their feet on them at night. She is convinced there is no more beautiful state in America.

Her novel, Give the Lady a Ride, is not a typical girl-meets-boy comedy: Girl meets bull. Girl rides bull. Bull sends girl flying.

This contemporary western romance introduces a New York socialite to all the chores of ranching and the high-adrenaline challenge of bull riding. Currently, Linda is working like a ranch hand to get her novel on the road to publication.



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